Why Are You Giving up on Yourself?

I was sitting with an old friend at Starbucks yesterday. She says that she doesn’t like her job. She says she’s bored doing useless work and it’s stressing her out. “I only have 18 years, 3 months and 3 days left until I retire” she said.

I choked on my green tea and went on a rant:

“18 years of not being happy! You’re willing to do that?”

I hate when people give up on themselves. I said:

“Listen to me, you’re my friend so I am going to tell you straight up.”

“You can do better than this!”

“You’ve been brainwashed to think you’re less than what you are. You need to remove that clutter from your mind – that self-doubt. You have to stop being self-conscious about your talents. It’s a disease.”

“The only way to do that is to change your beliefs and to work on yourself. If you’re miserable, know that it’s your own fault. No one else’s. You put yourself here and you are the only person that can get yourself out. Yes, the school system deceived you when they only presented you the option to work for someone else. But I know you. You have the grit and that compassion that very few people have. But you’re scared an that’s your fault. Not the past, not the social structure or economical structure will help you. If you maintain your same beliefs, you will always be miserable.”

“What about being a leader? What about carving your own path? You were never encouraged down that path, you were never shown that path. You hear stories that it’s risky and scary. But not when you have what it takes. As a leader you get to make your own rules and that’s empowering. There’s endless problems to solve which means endless opportunities. And right now more than ever we need people with the courage to take on these problems.” It doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact that’s a big part of the problem. You need courage, not perfection”

“But you’ve never been trained to be courageous. To pick yourself. You’ve been trained to be perfect. To get straight A’s. To follow the rules. To avoid failing. To not offend anyone. But all that brainwashing can be untangled. I didn’t know what I was doing when I started but I learnt it. I was scared and naive. I wasn’t special. I just decided. I decided to read, to ask for help, to go to seminars. The point is I decided, I jumped in and then figured it out.”

“No one is going to tell you the truth. Ninety nine percent of people are viewers of life. Business owners don’t even want to tell you because they also need people to work for them. I’m passed that.”

“Maybe you have something you’ve been thinking about doing but you’re too scared to do it. Know that it’s possible if you commit 100% to the problem. It won’t happen over night but if you’re not willing to give up – you will get there. Trust yourself and trust that you will figure it out. Drop any excuse that you’re too old, or too stuck. You’re not.”

“Don’t be scared of the responsibility. Scared of failing. If you let fear run your life, you’ll be lying in your death bed wondering why you never lived your life. Everyone is scared at first. Don’t let your worth be determined by a salary, a certificate or the name of a school. Decide to fight the fear when you feel it.”

“Entrepreneurs know that the obstacle is the way.”

“Conformity kills the creative mind. It’s unhealthy. You need to face your fear and stop looking for approval from others. Stop worrying what others think. You’re wasting precious time that could be spent creatively and purposefully. Get off the conventional road and start living.”

I rant about this because it frustrates me. It frustrates me to see talent being wasted. Because I was that person at one point that had no confidence in themselves. That person who though he needed something else. A partner. A piece of paper. An award. The person who feared negative comments from others. I was that person who feared I wasn’t good enough or smart enough. But not anymore”

“You don’t need anything. You have everything you need. You just need to believe in yourself and jump.”

Also published on Medium.

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